This was supposed to be the "Tuesday Morning Quarterback" edition of the Numbers for Week 14. But since I got a rare opportunity to catch a Monday Night Football game live and in person, well, this became the "Wednesday Morning Quarterback" edition. Thing is, in this topsy-turvy, one-week-is-nothing-like-the-next season, I have heard complaint after complaint from fantasy owners how they should have won so many more games than they did. If only they wouldn't have dropped this player. If only they wouldn't have sat that player. If only they would have started the other dude. And the truth of it is that picking the starting roster from week to week is more than half the battle. Bench points get you nothing but excuses. And you know what they say about excuses. So this week, I'm offering up some numerical ins and outs of the fist-clenching, lip-biting, who-the-heck-is-that-guy, why-didn't-I-think-of-that fantasy surprises and duhs of Week 14.
375 - Rushing yards this Sunday by the Jacksonville Jaguars against the Indianapolis Colts. The Jags have been about as Jekyll & Hyde as they come this season, but that Indy run defense has been about as consistent as they come - consistently bad. If you had Fred Taylor and Maurice Jones-Drew on your team and didn't play them this week, that's all on you. Taylor ran for 131 yards and a touchdown on just 9 carries while Jones-Drew rattled off 166 yards and two scores on 15 carries. And they both had over 100 yards by halftime. Heck, even Alvin Pearman would have been a solid play this week, rushing the ball 13 times for 71 yards and a score. "Who's Alvin Pearman?" you might ask. Exactly.
39 - Yards Vince Young scampered for in his game-winning, overtime touchdown dash Sunday against the Houston Texans. In a play reminiscent of that famed Michael Vick OT dash when two Minnesota Vikings ran into each other, Young led his team to another come-from-behind victory. It was the Titans fourth win in as many games, and Young's got this club playing at a caliber that's got the rest of the league dreading the Titans. For all those critics that said Vince Young wouldn't be NFL-ready this season and that Matt Leinart was the best freshman QB poised to do well this season, get out your fork and start-eating crow.
42-17 - Score of Sunday night's matchup between the victorious New Orleans Saints and the host Dallas Cowboys. If you thought Sunday night's game was going to be a close one, you were wrong. If you thought the Cowboys were poised jump on Tony Romo's shoulders and ride the Big Tuna to Miami, think again. The long, near-perfect arm of Drew Brees tossing a record 5 touchdown passes in Dallas and the invisible jetpack on Reggie Bush's back are the stories in the NFC this week. Sorry, T.O.
14 - That's how many games it took LaDainian Tomlinson to break Shaun Alexander's single-season touchdown record. LT tallied another three scores Sunday to run that total up to a new NFL record 29 touchdowns. Alexander's record didn't even last a year. And what's better yet is that LT did it in just 14 games. If you expect LT to slow down, think again. And if you think that record is going to last a long while, well, there's a host of other NFL stars that might just have something to say about that in the years to come. For those of you that had LT this season and didn't finish at least in the top three in your league, shame on you.
6-7 - Record for the Carolina Panthers. They've got to be this season's biggest flop. Sure, the defending Super Bowl Champs didn't have a great year, but that was somewhat expected. And though the Redskins and Buccaneers both stunk it up this season, no one took quite the belly flop off the high dive platform like the Panthers did. To all you who took Steve Smith in the first round, drafted the Panthers as the prized defensive pick of the NFL, or hand-picked Jake Delhomme as your QB1 in any round, then I admit you have every right to complain that the analysts and so-called experts don't know a thing.
129 - That's how many rushing yards Willie Parker had when you combine his performances in Weeks 11, 12, and 13. Ah, but in Week 10 he rattled off 213 yards, and just this past week, he thumped the Cleveland defense for 223 yards. There's no rhyme or reason to this madness. Just roll the dice, flip a coin, or throw a dart.
-1 - Points New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady scored in one of my fantasy leagues. The Miami defense is pretty good, but none of you out there, including you Dolphins fans, called a shutout. And if anyone claims they thought Brady would be held to just 78 yards passing, you're a pathological liar. Hey, maybe this game was the source of Rex Grossman's confidence Monday night.
0 - Touchdowns Sunday by Seattle Seahawks superstar Shaun Alexander against the Arizona Cardinals. Yes, the Arizona Cardinals. Everyone was climbing on board that Seahawks bandwagon once again, and it broke an axle in the desert Sunday Since his return from that broken foot, last season's MVP has just one touchdown. That's not good, folks. But knowing how the NFL has been this season, he'll score four this Thursday night against the 49ers, but only if you decide to bench him.
92 - Catches this season by Andre Johnson. He's had a resurgent season and leads all wide receivers in that category. In fact, Chad Johnson of the Cincinnati Bengals since second amongst wideouts with just 77 grabs. What's interesting is that Andre's got just 5 touchdowns. He might just be the Tiki Barber or Warrick Dunn of the receiving variety.
125, 3 - Rushing yards and touchdowns for Artose Pinner on Sunday afternoon. If you didn't start A. Pinner on Sunday, you're just not cut out to play fantasy football. And if you're in a league where he wasn't on someone's roster, then you're a bunch of amateurs. OK, all kidding aside, Vikings starting RB Chester Taylor went down with an injury and Pinner reaped the rewards of playing the Detroit Lions defense. Don't you love those weeks when someone like Pinner goes off and you're first round draft pick gets skunked. How's that for salt in the wound?
6 - Touchdowns this season by Bears phenom return man Devin Hester. If you want to tell a squad that special teams aren't really that important, and that they're definitely not one-third of a game, you better find some team that hasn't played the Bears. And surely not the St. Louis Rams. Hester set an NFL record running back two kickoffs Monday night in St. Louis, the second of which was a return where he was the only deep man in anticipation of a potential on-sides kick. Oh, and that touchdown total, well, that's more scores this season than Edgerrin James, Ronnie Brown, Warrick Dunn, Tiki Barber, Shaun Alexander, Carnell Williams... the list goes on and on.
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