Yes, I’m late on this column. My tardiness has nothing to do with the fact that my National Fantasy Baseball Championship (NFBC) team is presently in 15th place (well, not too much). Actually, I was preparing for trial. The case settled, and now I can go back to my real job, writing weekly columns here on CREATiVESPORTS.com.
I’d offer advice this week, but who wants to take advice from the guy that drafted Troy Tulowitzki with the 47th pick in the draft? How about the tag team draft strategy of taking both Bronson Arroyo (he of the 7.56 ERA) and Tom Gorzelanni (presently sporting an 8.46 ERA)? I’ve got to start one of these two this week, and I am opting for Arroyo, which means that Gorzelanni will be a stud, of course, on my bench. On second thought, Gorzelanni can’t even spell stud. I’d be happy with six innings and three earned runs when I throw him out there next time, if there is a next time.
I’ve been active on the free agent market, picking up John Lannon and Chad Guadin last week. Between the two, my team 21 scoreless innings (no, not a misprint), three wins, eleven strikeouts, and a WHIP of 0.95, and yet, I’m still mired in last place. At least I’m winning my two home leagues.
It’s only April, or so I keep telling myself. Now, on to things happening in the world of baseball, not related to my pathetic NFBC team.
Roger Clemens allegedly had an affair for ten years. Normally, I’d think, “so what.” However, there are reports that the woman was actually a fifteen year old kid when the alleged affair started. Not good. Clemens is having about as good a year as George Bush. Allegations or Steriods, a defamation suit, allegations of an affair with a teenager, when does it all stop? Perhaps Clemens ought to take the Rafael Palmeiro tact and just quietly disappear.
Speaking (or writing) of disappearing, despite his best efforts, it looks like Barry Bonds is done. Frank Thomas gets cut, and is signed by the A’s moments later. Barry’s been out of work for months, without a nibble.
On the Barry front, another Barry can only wish that he had disappeared. Barry Zito is a criminal. OK, that’s a bit harsh, but Zito is being paid over $100 million for the next six years, and as of today, he couldn’t even make my NFBC team. Zito’s got an ERA of 7.53, and a WHIP of 1.95, and both numbers are on the rise.
Other things rising include the ire of Yankees Senior Vice President Hank Steinbrenner. After literally calling his manager and general manager “idiots,” Steinbrenner now has to deal with the fact that his starting catcher, Jorge Posada, is going to be out a while with a tear in his subscapularis muscle (used for medially rotating the arm, for you non-biology majors out there).
Also out for a while is Rich Harden. I can write that every week, and be right almost every week. Harden is due to return over the May 9-11 weekend, and then will likely hit the disabled list on May 12.
Also hitting the disabled list, or more correctly, taking permanent residency on the disabled list is Nomar Garciapara. It wasn’t that long ago that the three best shortstops in baseball were Garciapara, Derek Jeter and Alex Rodriguez. Jeter and Rodriquez are just fine, thank you. Garciapara is done.
So should be Ned Coletti. Ever think you could be a real General Manager? I did, before my last place NFBC team thus far this season. Let’s look at some of the bigger deals Ned’s bigger signings thus far. See if you can’t do any worse.
Signed Andruw Jones on December 12, 2007;
Signed David Wells on August 24, 2007;
Signed Jason Schmidt for three years, on December 12, 2006; and
Signed Juan Pierre for five years, on November 22, 2006.
Coletti must hate the holidays, as December is obviously not his month. It looks like signing free agents isn’t his thing either. I’d write about the great trades that he’s made, but the next one will be his first. Seriously.
That’s all for now. Next week, which is actually this week, I’ll do my best to post on time. Until then, I wish you much better luck than my NFBC team.
Buster