I keep repeating to myself, “It’s only April.” That will work for a while, but May is less than two weeks away, and my team in the National Fantasy Baseball Championship (NFBC) is still mired in 14th place (out of 15).
I tried turning the monitor upside-down, which put my team in 2nd place, but everything looked jumbled, so that isn’t the solution. Actually, the solution may be getting better players, or having my players play to their capabilities. If you are looking for a team of underachievers, look no further. Start with Troy Tulowitzki, move on to Roy Oswalt, continue on to Dan Uggla, Jason Bay, and Bronson Arroyo and you have an idea just how things are going.
So, with my team looking like the New York Knicks, I turn this week to some things not entirely related to my faltering team.
First off, what took Miguel Tejada so long to admit that he is actually two years older than he has been claiming? On a similar subject, there is apparently no truth to the rumor that El Duque, Orlando Hernandez is actually twenty years older than he has been claiming. Concurrently, there is apparently no truth to the rumor that Hernandez claimed that he first tried coming to the United States during Woodrow Wilson’s tenure as the President of the United States.
Next, do you think it is time for David DeJesus to start visiting a trainer? One would think that if you are being paid handsomely to play baseball that you could actually play. DeJesus spends more time on the bench nursing injuries than Rich Harden. Did I mention that Harden is also on my beleaguered staff along with Oswalt?
One guy who hasn’t gotten hurt yet is Milton Bradley. Bradley thrilled those in on base percentage leagues by walking five times earlier this week. For the rest of us in “regular” leagues, Bradley’s five walks were worthless. Yes, I have Milton, too.
Evan Longoria just signed a six year contract. This from the same team that sent Longoria down so that he wouldn’t qualify as quickly for free agency. Now, with a six year contract for a reported $17.5 million, perhaps Evan can stay up the rest of the season.
Jason Giambi is done. He isn’t scheduled to face Mike Timlin again, and at present, Giambi has five hits all season, with two of them off of Timlin. Absent Timlin, Giambi is hitting .079. Heck, even counting his personal batting practice pitcher, Giambi is hitting a whopping .125. Look for the Steinbrenner du jour to deal for a real major league first basemen in the next two months.
Dontrelle Willis owners, beware! It looks like Dontrelle will be pitching for the Tigers in less than three weeks. If you are seeking an ERA above 5.00 and a WHIP at or above 1.5, the D-Train is your man. Otherwise, just pretend that he is still injured and keep him reserved. Better yet, admit that drafting this one-time phenom, and cut him outright. Someone else in your league will give him a try, and that team’s ERA and WHIP will balloon as a result.
Atlanta Braves pitchers are going down like flies. Rafael Soriano is out, and Peter Moylan is likely out for the year. Can John Smoltz be far behind?
Manny Ramirez hit two home runs off of Mike Mussina, and then had a Kyle Farnsworth fastball wiz by his head. Coincidence, accident, or retaliation. Mussina didn’t attempt to throw at Ramirez, only because 73 miles an hour fastballs are terribly intimidating.
Think you’ve had a long day? Brad Hawpe played all 22 innings Thursday/Friday in the Rockies-Padres triple header of sorts. Hawpe struck out four times, went 0 for 7, and left four guys on base in the Rockies 2-1 victory. Tad Iguchi went 0 for 7, as well.
Reining NL MVP Jimmy Rollins is still out with a sprained ankle. While it is only April, a sprained ankle on an infielder who relies significantly upon speed for a large portion of his value isn’t a real good thing. Rollins may go the way Rafael Furcal did in 2007.
Hank Blalock is hurt again, but that really doesn’t qualify as news. If it did, then reporting that the sun came up this morning would be a headline.
Eric Chavez is still hurt. See Blalock, Hank, above.
Dan Johnson may be signing with the Rays. That signing is about as important to you, the Rays, and everyone but Dan’s family as Billy Crystal’s one day “tryout” this Spring with the Yankees.
That’s it for this week. Best of luck.
Buster