One of the best aspects of Tout Wars weekend in New York is the annual Tout MLB.com lunch, formerly at the now defunct Chelsea Grill, now at the Chelsea Brewing Company at the Chelsea Piers.
In 2004 a bunch of us who happened to be both in Tout and at some time or other MLB.com employees decided to actually meet in person, and that first time, at the Chelsea Grill someone suggested a table draft, out of our heads. And, the collective results were referred to by participants as The Stupidest Draft Ever.
We played a straight 5X5 league, with ten players, one each of position players, a utility guy, a starting pitcher and a closer. We kept the results on a napkin, and drafted serpentine style, completely and totally out of our heads.
In most years we have even forgotten what we did with the results, although in 2005 Matt Bartlett won. So, we don't take too much stock in any of it aside the process.
And, that is brilliant fun.
Well, this year, as we were beginning, someone suggested doing a Hacking Mass draft. If you don't know, Hacking Mass stands for Huckabay's Annual Call to Keep Immobility Next to Godliness: Maximus Aggregatus Stiffisimus Sensire.
What it really means is you want the worst possible team, instead of the best. There are limitations on playing in that there are minimun at-bats and innings (a link to the rules at Baseball Prospectus is at the bottom of the page) so you cannot take Shawn Chacon and be done with it. Although, I do understand Chacon has a starting gig, making him palpable Hacking Mass fodder. But, obviously, like any game, you cannot rely on your guys sitting on the bench to win.
But, this is an odd parallel universe, where suddenly Scott Olsen and Marco Scutaro are suddenly first round considerations.
So, I can reveal my team. Note that I picked first, and started with Tim Wakefield. Joe Borowski was #2 (like I said, a parallel universe).
- C-Brad Ausmus
- 1B-Carlos Delgado
- 2B-Jamie Carroll
- 3B-Brandon Inge
- SS-Omar Vizquel
- OF-Willy Tavares
- OF-Jason Lane
- OF-So Tagucci
- U-Ross Gload
- SP-Tim Wakefield
- RP-Trevor Hoffman
Will I win? I don't know. The truth is, I don't care. I mean, it is all about the process.
Rules to Hacking Mass.